THE SINGLE GIRL’s CHRISTMAS PRAYER

This Christmas may I have
at least one really nice date.

May his car have clean seats
and glass in all the windows

May he not be more than
three hours late

May his left eye match
the one on the right

May he have all his front teeth
and not be high a a kite

May he have all his hormones
under control

May he wear clean underpants
without any holes

May his whiskers not burn
and make my face blotch

May he think with his brain
and not with his crotch

And, Lord, if I might ask
for just one thing more…

May he have good aim in my bathroom
and not pee on my clean floor