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Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Latin Grammys…

Posted in Random, dating, debauchery, friends, houston, humor, lory, partying, single, thirties, tagged on November 14, 2008 | 1 Comment »

Went to the Latin Grammy Afterparties…then to Ricky Le’s bday last night….good times!

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No Pictures!!

Posted in Inspirational, dating, friends, houston, humor, lory, single, thirties, tagged , , , , , on September 5, 2008 | 2 Comments »

Ever had one of those nights where you should’ve just stayed home?? I met up my new bff Ron Berry and Tamara @ Tasting Room last night….ordered a Reisling….the bartendar poured it into the glass…walked over to the register and says, “That will be $18.75″….I almost cried right in front of him.  Seriously??? A $18.75 glass [...]

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I’m the BEST!!

Posted in houston, humor, lory, thirties on July 18, 2008 | No Comments »

After working a 13 hour day and doing 17k, I went home and I don’t know if it was my delirium or wtf came over me but I headed to the gym.  There I was in a shoe box of a work out room that had a temp of 75degrees pedaling on the damn elyptical [...]

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The Douchiest Phone Message In History

Posted in humor, single, thirties on July 10, 2008 | 2 Comments »

 
This is so hilarious!! This is the reason why so many women are still single…because we deal w/ douche bags like this!! Listen to :  The Douchiest Phone Message In History . 

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This is hilarious!!

Posted in humor on June 19, 2008 | No Comments »

There are times when kids  draw something and you have to say…
‘Wow, tell me about your picture.’ Because you really have no clue what it is.
This one you know right away.
Enjoy!

QUOTE FROM THE MOM:

THIS IS MY KINDERGARTNER’S ARTISTIC RENDERING OF A PAIR OF SCISSORS.I WONDER WHAT HIS TEACHER THOUGHT.

I ALLOWED MYSELF JUST A SMALL SMIRK [...]

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An Ode to Dogs

Posted in humor on June 16, 2008 | 1 Comment »

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say its not quite as good as his mothers

then get a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want …

then get a dog.
If you want someone who will [...]

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Drank

Posted in humor on June 4, 2008 | 2 Comments »

This is for real!! It’s an anti-energy drink that is supposed to make you “slow your roll”.   It is grape flavored and made w/ melatonin, valerian root and rose hips.  It goes great w/ Vodka!! Can you imagine everyone just “chillin” after they drink this…it would probably make me pass the hell out!! Just Drank [...]

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Luv it!!

Posted in humor on June 4, 2008 | 1 Comment »

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Blog Hotties

Posted in Inspirational, Lola, dating, debauchery, dreams, family, friends, gossip, houston, houston social events, humor, lory, love, partying, sex, single, thirties, tagged , , on May 29, 2008 | 4 Comments »

Woo hoo!! I made it to Blog Hotties!! I feel pretty cool right now!

Name: Lory Ortiz
Age: 32 (Feb 20, 1976)
Location: Houston, TX
Occupation: Vacation Cruise Planner
Status: Attached
Blog Content Rating: 6/10 (A decent read if you happen to be part of the Houston clubbing scene)
Notes of interest:

Owns a female Chihuahua named Lola.
Thinks Whitney of MTV’s [...]

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SEX AND THE CITY premier

Posted in Inspirational, Movies, TV shows, dating, friends, houston, humor, lory, love, music, partying, players, sex, single, thirties, tagged , , , , , , on May 28, 2008 | No Comments »

Went to the premier of Sex and the City last night w/ Eddie last night, Chrissy and her cousin met us up there.   In the beginning they had prize give aways and Eddie won me a satc shirt, pen, and some other paraphernalia (yes, I used spell check for that!) ….I’m even more in love [...]

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